Dating avoidant attachment style
Unfortunately, about a quarter of the population has an avoidant attachment style and the other quarter has an anxious attachment style.
The anxious person is hypersensitive to the little signs that the other person in the relationship is pulling back or not showing the same level of interest.
This would be the most normal set of behaviors when attaching to someone in a love relationship.
Oh, if we could all have the secure attachment style, relationships would be so much easier and smoother to manage.
He thinks he wants a relationship with me again because he misses me.
Yet, I know that if I give him the attention he wants, he will soon start to pull away again. With anxious attachment, the authors note that “even a slight hint that something may be wrong will activate your attachment system, and once it’s activated, you are unable to calm down until you get a clear indication from your partner that he or she is truly there for you and that the relationship is safe.” So back when I was used to my boyfriend texting me several times a day every day and then one day he didn’t text me at all until p.m., I was on edge and feeling rejected.
The moment he gets close and intimate in the relationship, the discomfort sets in and he will pull away or put more distance between him and his partner. The avoidant person tends to end relationships more frequently than the anxious or secure person.
In a few cases I found myself dating someone that either called me needy or described my behavior in a way that I would interpret as needy.In one relationship, I finally broke up with the guy because I got so tired of trying to express my needs, only to be rebuffed.