Pakistani men dating white women
Suppress your look of envy when you hear their stories about sleep-away camps, cruise ship family vacations, or family dinners at fancy restaurants.You never really thought of yourself as poor, but in this relationship you suddenly notice how you were raised with less than.
Of course, I never acted on my crush – dating was haram, and my parents would never allow it. As a brown girl, I wasn’t attractive to these boys either. I was always the sidekick to the pretty girls – the geeky, nerdy, student government, asexual, “other” Muslim brown girl.
You get confused when you realize that he has a brown girl fetish.
You don’t know if it’s a compliment or a microaggression when he calls you exotic.
When we broke up ten years ago, we made bets on who would get married first. He reached out a couple of times a year to see how I was doing. He wasn’t the first guy I was in love with, but he was first in many other ways – first boyfriend, first Thanksgiving, first parental unit meeting, first living together. His grandmother made aloo gobi for me at Thanksgiving.
We met when were both in our early twenties working as community organizers in Washington, D. He grew up in a well-to-do family in an idyllic community just outside of D. They had oil paintings on the wall, candlesticks on the dining table, and ordered steak through the mail. I helped unwrap heirloom ornaments for their Christmas tree.During those years, I was also learning about what it means to be a person of color and how white supremacy plays out in the U. In the petri dish of our relationship, I noticed how his white privilege compared to my lack thereof. Though it was comforting to be in a relationship, I still had to explain a lot of what it meant for me to feel exoticized, persecuted, and marginalized.